Some couples in Texas fall into certain behavioral patterns that make it more likely that they will get a divorce. One author and marriage counselor has written about patterns he has observed with his clients. He has found that criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness all contribute to the increased chance of divorce.
The counselor has identified contempt as the most harmful of these behaviors. When spouses show contempt, they indicate that they have lost respect for each other. Contempt may be exhibited by behaviors such as spouses rolling their eyes at one another, using sarcasm and name calling. One spouse might ask the other to stop these behaviors, but the other spouse may simply not care.
However, even if contempt has entered the marriage, it’s still possible to avoid divorce. Putting a stop to these negative patterns of behavior means getting the couple to work together as a team again. To accomplish this, the counselor asks couples what they admired about one another when they first met. Remembering these good times can help rekindle the desire for the marriage. Another suggestion is for couples to focus on what the other spouse is doing right instead of their mistakes.
Despite making these efforts, a couple might be unable to reconcile and decide to divorce instead. This may create the need for a new set of negotiations as couples decide how to divide their property and what to do about child custody. In community property states like Texas, shared property is generally considered to be assets acquired by both spouses after the marriage. This shared property is supposed to be divided 50/50; although, there may be room for some flexibility during negotiations. Couples who are struggling with divorce negotiations could work with a lawyer who can help them reach an agreement.